The Flavor Blue

Hey everyone! I hope you are all as excited as I am about my new blog, The Flavor Blue. Please click the button below to be instantly directed there.

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Be sure to bookmark the new blog and/or subscribe to it by clicking the Follow button on the right hand side. This will be the final post ever on Blueberries and Oats. I look forward to seeing you all there. Heart

– Robyn

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What’s This?

Hi!

Well hello everyone! I just wanted to post here to let you all know about the new blog I will have up shortly next week. It will not be based on food, though I’m sure a lot of food photos and talk will show up, but on my own personal experiences in life. Just sharing my story with the world.  ❤ I hope you’ll all want to read.

I will link to it from here as soon as I have it ready for viewing. Stay tuned!

Aaron

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About a solid hour of crying later, my boss called to inform me that my dear friend and coworker, Aaron, committed suicide last night.

I wish I had words to express what I’m feeling. I can’t stop crying. I can’t help but feel like I failed him. I miss him so much. I keep expecting to hear his sunny voice and hear his laugh because this was all a prank.

I can’t focus on anything. My thoughts come back to him and tears build up in my eyes.

He was the first person to reach out to me when I was, for the first time in my life, entirely alone. He brought me to his family Thanksgiving and I’d never felt more welcomed to anything in my life; completely embraced and accepted. He was the first to start off my new life of openness and involvement. He was the first to call me a friend when I had none. He was the first and I will always love him for that. 

Not Friends

Today I had an experience that I hope to never have again. (Probably because I may never date again.) It was terrifying and ugly and I still feel completely shaken to my core.

You see, today I was going to hangout with Chase. As friends of course. While I was driving us to Red Robin (2pm..so hungry for lunch) Chase suddenly brought up that he was trying to move again so he could take the cats. My immediate response to this, of course, was “They are not your cats anymore”. He completely lost it. I've never been so terrified in my life. First threatening to jump out of the car, then screaming at me and making vulgar gestures, eventually indeed jumping out of the car when we were at a stop, then, once back in, using an umbrella to hit himself repeatedly in the face, the entire time shaking with rage and screaming…and all I am doing is just trying to drive, sob, and stay in control.

All while this is going on he's screaming at me that he's going to kill himself, that it's my fault. I've never felt so trapped in all my life. Do I get away from him or do I have to stay near him so he doesn't hurt himself? By the time I got us back to his car (screw lunch), I was a sobbing mess, shaking and, I admit, blindly driving, and he, bleeding from his forehead, professing his undying love for me.

We cannot be friends. I know that now. He is too unstable and the wounds are too fresh.

I will give him the cats if he asks for them. Yes they are my children and I love them more than anything, but he clearly needs them more than I to survive.

This day was utterly defeating. I don't even care about my food.

 

Catastrophe

Guys, I have a serious catastrophe on my hands. Last night, right before heading out for sushi, I grabbed my camera that goes everywhere with me and that I use multiple times a day to show you guys what I eat, and slipped it into my purse without it’s case, something I never do.

Today, I can’t find it in my purse. I never took it out during dinner since I got shy and used my phone instead. I can’t find it anywhere. I’ve looked in my car, under everything in my apartment, called the sushi place…it’s gone. All my photos of the last few days are gone and most importantly, my amazing little red camera is gone.

I’m heartbroken over it and kind of in the “I don’t know what to do. It feels like I’ve lost a part of me” state. I know that’s super overdramatic; it was just a camera. But it’s sort of the thing that made me feel like this blog really was something serious. I had to use this camera and show you guys what I ate. Everyone takes photos of their food with their phones. “Real bloggers” use real cameras. I know this is all stupid but I feel like a complete phony now not to mention my failure at blog posts lately.

Before I go out and throw some tax return money at a new camera I really feel like I need to access what I’m doing here. Normally I love blogging and showing what I eat. Just getting words out that I have no where else to. But my schooling has driven the passion out of me and I feel like there is nothing left. That I can’t inspire anyone let alone myself.

Wow. This got really really depressing and I apologize for that on Valentine’s Day. I’m going to post this, put on some dancing music, have a little dance party in my apartment and cook the love of my life (ME!!) a fantastic dinner. I hope that I can come back afterward and show you my day through food (taken with my phone).

Thanks for listening. ❤

Technical Difficulties

So perhaps saying I was off to “fix up Ripley” was not a good way to end my previous post. Maybe a few of you may have had the insight to go “Hmm this is bound to end badly.” Well…you’d be right.

It started off okay. I ran file clean up, defragged, and even configured her startup programs since she was acting abnormally slow. I even updated and scanned her hard-drives with my virus scanner. That should have been enough. But then I saw the virus scanner software mention Free Tune-up software! :O It was bound for failure from the start.

Don’t get me wrong, the software worked well enough but me, trying to stay ahead of the game, messed it all up. I tried to uninstall the 1-day trial tune up software before it was ready I guess. Because the whole system crashed and could no longer boot my operating system. =/ That’s right I had to system restore my whole computer. >.<

Hopefully all my photos, music, and documents backed-up alright. Hopefully I'll have time to get in my daily post in an hour or two. =/ I apologize!

Nutrition News Help

Hi guys I have a favor to ask of all of you! My next (and final!!) piece in my Writing about Food & Health class is nutrition news. I need to choose a current food politics headline or recently researched nutrition topic and write a piece portraying the excerpt opinions for and against it.

Well what would you guys like to know about!?

Here are some examples but please feel free to make suggestions:

  • Does the current farm bill support organics?
  • Does high fructose corn syrup metabolize differently than refined sugars?
  • Should pizza be considered a “vegetable” in our school lunch programs?
  • Does having calorie information on menu boards really have an effect?
  • Does intuitive eating actually keep weight off?
  • Is the paleo diet healthy?
  • Do vitamins C and E prevent macular degeneration (blindness)?

I’m looking forward to hearing what you guys want to learn about! Please don’t be afraid to post and do so ASAP. I sort of need to write my first draft today/tomorrow! I know, I procrastinated….

Thanks for your time!

My Results

I feel like a fraud. I feel like a failure. Really, I just feel like I’ve worked so hard and it’s all been for nothing. The test results I received yesterday informed me that I have high triglyceride levels. People who usually have high levels have a diet high in simple sugars or have diabetes. “Triglycerides are a type of fat (lipid) found in your blood. When you eat, your body converts any calories it doesn’t need to use right away into triglycerides. The triglycerides are stored in your fat cells. Later, hormones release triglycerides for energy between meals. If you regularly eat more calories than you burn, particularly “easy” calories like carbohydrates and fats, you may have high triglycerides (hypertriglyceridemia).” High triglycerides can increase your risk for heart disease, diabetes, and stroke.

Here’s what they recommended in order to lower the levels:

  • Decrease sugar in your diet, including simple carbs
  • Decrease alcohol intake
  • Decrease high-calorie foods
  • Increase regular exercise
  • Reduce weight to normal
  • Stop smoking.

Now if you’ve read my blog for awhile, you may say hey wait a second. I eat mainly whole grains, don’t drink much, never even use butter and use very clean cooking methods like roasting and steaming, exercise 6x a week, don’t eat meat and limit cheese, use nonfat dairy, don’t smoke, and have maintained a healthy weight.

The only explanation I have is: genetics. My family has a very serious history of heart disease and apparently my healthy vegetarian lifestyle has not saved me from it.

It’s odd, but while yesterday I was perfectly comfortable with my body, I suddenly look into mirrors now and see an obese woman.

The only thing I feel I can do to try to lower my levels is cut out all simple carbs. If it’s not whole grain I can’t eat it. Cut out all added sugars; Goodbye chocolate and jam. Perhaps even eat less fruit since they’re high in fructose (sugar). Cut all my meals in half to limit calories (while I thought I was already having healthy portions). Because everything else I’ve already been doing. 

I feel betrayed by my body. I finally felt like I had a healthy relationship with food and it’s been a lie because I’m not actually healthy.

Anyway I just had to tell you all.