Ug. I’m exhausted. Today was really hard emotionally. Too much time to sit around and think. Think about letting go of what I thought was my dreams. Accepting that I have some issues I need to work on. Trying to figure out how to tell people about those issues.
All the thinking was very emotional.
I was up around 7am. That’s sleeping in for me. Then I made a hot breakfast of Kodiak Cakes with maple syrup, almond butter, fresh plum, and dried cranberries.
Being productive, I got a lot of preparing done for my last counseling session tomorrow for my Nutritional Counseling class. I feel prepared and ready to finish this assignment.
Around noon I made a lunch of a two egg omelet filled with sautéed kale, onions, and fresh cilantro. On the side, a multigrain English muffin with the last of the pumpkin butter and some almond butter.
Eventually, after feeling really emotionally down, I made myself shower so I could go to Target and the grocery store.
When I got back home around 3pm, I made a snack. Simply Salted popcorn and the last of the lavender liquor with limonata soda. I ended up eating the whole bag of popcorn.
And eventually three baggies of lemoncello almonds. It was one of those days.
Eventually I made myself get to the gym for a 60 minute bike. It was actually really nice since I got to watch some of the Oscars!! I’d thought about swimming instead…but I really wanted to not have to think, and I do the most thinking while swimming.
When I got home after 7pm, I made a small hot dinner of whole wheat spaghetti with a lot of okra filled marinara sauce. Yeah I used the old dieting trick of eating it with chopsticks. Like I said, it’s been a tough week.
To end my eating, I had a mug of Joy tea with two squares of dark chocolate.
I’m sorry if these posts are getting boring. =/ I really just…feel at a loss for words to share my inner workings right now. Just thinking is damn hard and brings tears to my eyes.
I’m sorry I’m a mess everyone. =( I was supposed to stop being a mess in 2014 but apparently I’ve got more to work on.