Fixing Oneself

Ya know, being on my own is slowly getting easier. For instance, my eyes weren’t puffy when I woke up at 3am this morning.

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I sipped my double short ristretto soy hazelnut latte on my 10 minute break and didn’t feel like a mess.

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I even ate breakfast without coming unwound. I had an egg with cheddar cheese (one of our regulars likes to get the sausage breakfast sandwich with no egg or cheese, so I saved them instead of tossing them. I was really craving protein), some overnight oats that seemed really unfulfilling (perhaps due to use of regular yogurt instead of Greek), and water.

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When I was still hungry I munched on kaki-pi. No clue why I was so hungry. I feel like that a lot lately. Maybe I need to try having smaller snacks and meals more often.

I got off work around 11am and hit the pool for a 30 minute lap swim followed by a small soak. Guys I’m really at a loss on what to do about my aching and falling apart body. I want to workout because I enjoy it, it releases stress, and it helps with all those pastries I’ve been eating ~.^, but I’m in so much pain lately. It’s not just my feet now but my knees and my fingers. I feel like I’m aging crazy fast.


When I got home around 1pm I had a lunch of Wheat Thins (4 servings) with aged cheddar and a salad of purple cabbage, red bell pepper, and sesame vinaigrette. I also sipped a short Green Tea Latte. Mmm matcha. I just wish it had more caffeine.

The rest of my singular day was spent working on my cross-stitch and watching Netflix and Hulu. Have you seen the documentary Blackfish? Holy crap. I’ll never go to SeaWorld again. YouTube has changed their sharing features, so to see the trailer click here!


I had a glass of Apothic Red while I cross-stitched and worked on being okay with being by myself. Around 6pm I had dinner of Dijorno pizza with pineapple and red bell pepper (4 slices) and celery with ranch. Like I mentioned before, I was still hungry so I  kept eating. Maybe I’m just out of touch with what “hunger” is..


Dessert was a few squares of Theo Coconut Mint chocolate. This bar is my second favorite, after the gingerbread one.


Night all. I have two days off from work so I’m gonna try and just enjoy being myself.


3 thoughts on “Fixing Oneself

  1. Maybe your just not getting enough sleep so your body needs the extra calories?? Maybe take the next 2days off of exercise and see if that helps and don’t have exercise guilt for not exercising let your body rest! Hell you’ve been through so much lately enjoy some” ME” time! xoxo

    • Thanks Heidi! It’s actually for once not that I’m having guilt about it but a WANT to do it. I feel good when I do it (well minus the body pain). Also I have all this free time…=) I think I will try biking and see if that’s light enough on my feet.

  2. OMG I saw Blackfish. Horrifying! I’m astonished at how SeaWorld employees blatantly lie about the average life span of these animals, which is much longer in nature. I always liked killer whales (I used to have a pink Tshirt with orcas on it that I wore every chance I got), but I am not under any illusions that these animals can completely revert to their instincts, which are NOT to be friendly with other creatures. They’re at the top of the food chain (web!), and even though it’s really sickening to watch, I wasn’t surprised. I agree with Heidi, perhaps you need rest? I personally LOVE walking, especially in the morning or at night (but don’t go alone at night! At least I would never in Berkeley…) so maybe try that? I find it really soothing and therapeutic and it feels good for my body as well. I would tell you to have it checked out, but I understand what it’s like not wanting to pay for a doctor :/ A good couple days of RRR never hurts though.

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