Frozen

You can always tell when I’m struggling by my inability to stay up with posts. =/ I’m so very sorry guys. I’m really trying but I just can’t keep up the strength. Let me try and remember yesterday and power through to today.

Thursday

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Since I’m done with the quarter (yay) I worked on a Thursday. It was strange since I didn’t open (4am) but instead had the second shift (6am). This oddly enough made me feel more tired the entire day! I arrived to work early so I could sip down a double tall soy vanilla latte. It was super delicious. I’m really enjoying the flavor and creaminess of soy milk, however, I am noticing I have more gas. =/

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On my 10 minute break I was soo hungry I ate my snack first. Ants on a lob with a tall iced Americano with one Sweet N Low and breve.

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Still, I was famished for my breakfast around 10am. Weetabix, nut melody, dried fruit, and a sprinkle of brown sugar oatmeal mix-in’s, and a venti Orange Refresher with black tea instead of water. This is definitely one of my new favorite drinks.

Since my feet are doing so poorly (I seriously think something’s wrong with them but for now I’m just gonna try to heal them through rest), I hit the pool for a 30 minute lap swim. In order to let my feet rest I had to allow myself to just do 30 minute swims. Otherwise, even swimming makes whatever is going on in them act up from pushing off the wall. After my swim I forced myself to sit in the hot tub for almost 10 minutes, trying to relax them. I HATE being that hot, so it was very difficult.

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Once I got home I was sooo very needing lunch. I scarfed down the fish tacos from Wednesday and followed it with two servings of Wheat Thins and a cheese stick.

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At 4pm, it was time for my babies to get their annual check-up. They were so darn good, I was so proud! Man are they expensive though. This was a healthy reminder of why I should not get a dog yet.

Once home again, I got to work tidying up the apartment (I’m ready for it to be my own, so I can keep it as clean as I want) and starting to work on my DICAS application.

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I had plans to go see Frozen with my friend, Chris, that evening, and since I get so nervous with social outings I had a glass of my favorite wine, Apothic Red. Totally helped me relax and not stress.

Frozen was outstanding! I seriously want to go see it again. I laughed almost the whole time, enjoyed the music, and really liked that Disney took a little different spin on their usual man-saves-woman theme. Go see it! (P.s. Just realized why the movie reminded me of the Broadway show, Wicked, so much! Idina Menzel is the same singer from it!!) Here’s my favorite song from it:

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I got home pretty late (9:30pm when I should have been in bed by 9pm) and hadn’t had dinner yet. I tried to make a healthy one with brown rice and quinoa and steamed Brussels sprouts with Chase’s sesame vinaigrette. Then to bed I went.

Friday

So today’s the day I’m really struggling with and I feel like it clearly shows in my food choices.

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Extremely tired, I opened at Starbucks and was very much ready for my 10 minute break espresso drink: double short soy cinnamon dolce latte, no whip.

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My breakfast I filled with free Starbucks food: Wheat Spinach Croissant with celery and sesame dipping sauce from home, tall Orange Refresher with black tea…and then, still really hungry, a blueberry scone. No wonder I never got hungry again on my shift!

I got sent home early again (we are sadly way over in labor), and since I felt like my hair looked nice, makeup was good, and I had errands to do today, I put off swimming. Big mistake. Of course I didn’t end up making it back today and while I do feel a little shitty about that since I ate a plethora, I won’t let it get to me.

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Anyway, once I got home I decided to eat a healthy lunch so I wouldn’t grab crap while I was out. Brown rice and quinoa, fat-free refried salsa beans, steamed Brussels, salsa, and black olives.

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Of course that just made me want cheese and Wheat Thins. I ate two baggies and one stick.

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And then, during errands, trying to encourage Chase to eat (he’s not eating and it’s so bad he definitely is going through ketoacidosis, which is making his breathe smell so funky), I shared a small green apple boba milk tea with him and ended up drinking most of it. =/

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After errands and finally getting home after 5:30pm, I scarfed down a HUGE dinner of curry rice and croquette with raw purple cabbage. Honestly, I ate until it hurt. It’s been a really off night since Chase is finally packing up all his stuff and moving out. He won’t be around anymore and while this is what I need, it’s hard all the same. I kind of just want to be frozen.

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Hopefully things can only get better. Thanks for hanging in there.

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