I feel like yesterday ended with me being really out of touch with myself.
It started well though. I feel like as I’m growing to like myself more and more, be okay with who I am, enjoy being me, the better I look. That’s an amazing feeling. To like one’s face.
On my 10 minute break I sipped down a ristretto triple short Americano with one raw sugar and a splash of breve. Espresso in the morning is like a warm hug.
When it was my lunch time I was so hungry for it even though I’d been having little nibbles all morning on various samples. I think I really need to make sure I get that wake-up snack before I work! Breakfast: Weetabix, TJ’s simply almonds, cashews and cranberries Trek Mix, and a tall iced Americano with a pump of vanilla and breve.
I finally got off work at 12:30pm and decided to eat lunch before my workout. I was just too hungry! I had a free reward on my Starbucks card to use so I grabbed a Hearty Veggie & Brown Rice Salad Bowl, used only a spoonful of the dressing, and chowed down. Mmm this thing tastes amazing when you need it. One of my new favorite drinks right now is a Grande Valencia Orange Refresher, no sweetener, and Passion Tea used in place of water. It’s delicious!
Once I was feeling good again I hit the gym for a ….60 minute bike! That’s right, I’m brining biking back into my workout rotation. =) I loved my hour spent reading and sweating.
Once I got home it was around 2:30pm and I was hungry? I’m not really sure if I was hungry or not but I did end up snacking. =/ Tropical Pocky and some unpictured Wheat Thins and cheese.
For “dinner”, Chase and I ended up having: popcorn, umeshu, carrots and celery with ranch.
Of course this “dinner” wasn’t at all substantial so just a few hours later we found ourselves searching for more. We ended up making quesadillas with cheese, jalapenos, and salsa. Also snacked on some tortilla chips. I didn’t take a picture because by this time I really felt disconnected with my body and unsure why I was eating. =/ It felt awful.
Emotional eating is always a hard thing to overcome. Luckily, I’m taking that Intuitive Eating class right now so I can really work on it. ~.^ Let’s see, the book says to:
1. Am I biologically hungry? No. (If it had been yes, honor that and eat!)
2. What am I feeling? – write out your feelings
I was feeling empty and alone inside.
3. What do I need?
I needed to be okay with just being me, by myself, without needing anyone else to make me feel whole.
4. Ask for what you need.
I should have asked Chase for some space and went and took a bath, read a book, cross-stitched, ect., so I could work on enjoying myself. Instead I kept hanging out with him, stuffing my face to fill the void of feeling alone when you’re right next to someone.
Well that was a good exercise! I didn’t even realize what I was feeling until now. =) I hope you all are having a good Sunday! I intend to get some cleaning done. My apartment is a pig sty.