Self Worth


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Just pretend that this one and yesterday’s were switched. Victor Hugo is the author of Les Miserables.

Aww finally my second weekend day. ❤ I surprisingly was up at 8:30.


Probably because my tummy knew it was getting a good breakfast today. I made my favorite Japanese oats topped with a spoonful of White Chocolate Wonderful, banana, and raisins. How absolutely comforting it was. It just blows my mind how smells can activate memories so well and so easily.


Since it was so early and I really wanted to make sure I digested before working out, I made myself a cappuccino with 1/2 cup of 2% milk and watched some Doctor Who. Mmm I love foam.


Then I hit the gym for a sweaty and stinky 60 minute stationary bike ride. I’m considering trying out a new deodorant…because mine was not doing great. =P

We have this bush outside our apartment that is only pretty for two weeks out of the entire year. Seriously, it blooms gorgeous, and then looks like death. So I figured I better capture a photo of the beauty while I could!


For lunch I finished off the vegetable fried quinoa with some sautéed asparagus, followed by some nonfat Greek yogurt with peanut butter and strawberry jelly to cool my mouth from the sriracha.


Around 4pm, I needed a snack. =/ So I had a baggie of NatureBox Cheddar Sesame Sticks that are freaking delicious. I’m so glad I portioned this out otherwise it would have been tough not to eat all of it!

I spent most of today studying for my quizzes and exams next week and cooking up a storm because I’m going to run out of lunch money and therefore need to bring my own.


With all the cooking, I didn’t feel like cooking dinner so Chase and I splurged and ordered Domino’s. This time I kept it to one slice with a side of sautéed kale and some unpictured Parmesan Bites. Oh my the new Domino’s Handmade Pan crust is good. I went all out and got a garlic white sauce and pineapple topping too. Way too good.


After dinner I was completely flipping my lid over misplacing our laundry card that had about $30 on it. I couldn’t find it anywhere and it was stressing me out to no end. Eventually Chase told me to calm down and have a drink…so I did! I finished off the umeshu from New Year’s and damn was it good. It got me thinking about going back to Japan and making better memories. Chase and I intend to go in celebration after I’m all certified so…maybe in two years?

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Due to this nostalgia for Japan, I pulled out my scrapbook of my experience there and shuffled through the photos. Each photo of me I scrutinized and stared and could not believe I had struggled with such weight issues there. I looked soo thin. The thinnest in my entire life and yet I remember feeling so…uncomfortable with my body; so dissatisfied; so worthless. I used to think this was an absolutely awful picture of me because I thought my belly was just popping out all over the place. This just reminds me to appreciate where I’m at now and to not put my self worth on how I think my clothes look on me. No “I’ll be happy with myself when I’ve lost more weight”. I should be happy with myself now.


2 thoughts on “Self Worth

  1. Couldn’t agree with you more!! Thanks’ for the reminder, I work so dang hard, and still feel like I’m not doing good enough, and yet like you when I was my thinnest I still felt inadequite.. Constant battle but I have to keep reminding myself I’m not perfect but I am alive!!

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