Self Worth

 

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Just pretend that this one and yesterday’s were switched. Victor Hugo is the author of Les Miserables.

Aww finally my second weekend day. ❤ I surprisingly was up at 8:30.

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Probably because my tummy knew it was getting a good breakfast today. I made my favorite Japanese oats topped with a spoonful of White Chocolate Wonderful, banana, and raisins. How absolutely comforting it was. It just blows my mind how smells can activate memories so well and so easily.

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Since it was so early and I really wanted to make sure I digested before working out, I made myself a cappuccino with 1/2 cup of 2% milk and watched some Doctor Who. Mmm I love foam.

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Then I hit the gym for a sweaty and stinky 60 minute stationary bike ride. I’m considering trying out a new deodorant…because mine was not doing great. =P

We have this bush outside our apartment that is only pretty for two weeks out of the entire year. Seriously, it blooms gorgeous, and then looks like death. So I figured I better capture a photo of the beauty while I could!

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For lunch I finished off the vegetable fried quinoa with some sautéed asparagus, followed by some nonfat Greek yogurt with peanut butter and strawberry jelly to cool my mouth from the sriracha.

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Around 4pm, I needed a snack. =/ So I had a baggie of NatureBox Cheddar Sesame Sticks that are freaking delicious. I’m so glad I portioned this out otherwise it would have been tough not to eat all of it!

I spent most of today studying for my quizzes and exams next week and cooking up a storm because I’m going to run out of lunch money and therefore need to bring my own.

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With all the cooking, I didn’t feel like cooking dinner so Chase and I splurged and ordered Domino’s. This time I kept it to one slice with a side of sautéed kale and some unpictured Parmesan Bites. Oh my the new Domino’s Handmade Pan crust is good. I went all out and got a garlic white sauce and pineapple topping too. Way too good.

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After dinner I was completely flipping my lid over misplacing our laundry card that had about $30 on it. I couldn’t find it anywhere and it was stressing me out to no end. Eventually Chase told me to calm down and have a drink…so I did! I finished off the umeshu from New Year’s and damn was it good. It got me thinking about going back to Japan and making better memories. Chase and I intend to go in celebration after I’m all certified so…maybe in two years?

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Due to this nostalgia for Japan, I pulled out my scrapbook of my experience there and shuffled through the photos. Each photo of me I scrutinized and stared and could not believe I had struggled with such weight issues there. I looked soo thin. The thinnest in my entire life and yet I remember feeling so…uncomfortable with my body; so dissatisfied; so worthless. I used to think this was an absolutely awful picture of me because I thought my belly was just popping out all over the place. This just reminds me to appreciate where I’m at now and to not put my self worth on how I think my clothes look on me. No “I’ll be happy with myself when I’ve lost more weight”. I should be happy with myself now.

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2 thoughts on “Self Worth

  1. Couldn’t agree with you more!! Thanks’ for the reminder, I work so dang hard, and still feel like I’m not doing good enough, and yet like you when I was my thinnest I still felt inadequite.. Constant battle but I have to keep reminding myself I’m not perfect but I am alive!!

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